Rainbows.

I think today was amazing and kind of a breakthrough for me.

First, I just have to say that sometimes I hate being a girl. Especially when boys are around. That's all I gotta say about that. And, I hate stupid drivers. And people who take more than 10 items in the Express check out lane. Lame! And I love rainbows. A lot.

Anyways. I went to Mass today (at the wrong time). It was kind of silly. Well, I felt silly for not remembering the time. So I sat in church for 40 minutes. It was cool I guess.

It wasn't really Mass that was incredibly awesome (though receiving Jesus is always cool). Anyways, it was after Mass that made me so happy, that I cried. I've been thinking and missing David a lot these past few days, though I haven't really told anyone about it. I feel like I just talk about the same things and I don't want to seem annoying to people.

Anyway, so in the book Captivating that I read for small group (miss you Molly!), the author talked about getting a 'kiss' from God. (Or something like that?) So I've been thinking a lot about so many things, about how I'm still struggling with this and how I've been struggling with how to find peace in this whole situation. And I've also been having doubts about him loving me and me loving him and such, mostly because I guess it would hurt less that way.

Back to the point. After Mass...I think I finally got what I've been wanting. For the sake of not appearing silly, I don't want to say what happened, but all I can say is that I pretty much started crying and smiling to myself while I was driving. And I just felt so good and it was like I just knew that things were going to be okay and that David still loved me, no matter what.

This might not even make sense, but I just wanted to write it down because it made me so incredibly happy.